Steelers 2017: Pink Chickens, Bill Fralic, Ellen DeGeneres, Lizards & Free Agent Gotta Gets & Gotta Goes! by Randy "Tank" Tantlinger
Pink Chickens, Lizards, Ellen DeGeneres & Free Agent Gotta Gets & Gotta Goes!
OK, so ask your self, were you happy with loosing to the eventual Super Bowl champions, The Patriots, in the AFC Championship game?
Of course you weren't!
So let's get “R-E-A-L” and talk “X's & O's” and how your Steelers can go to the big game in Minnesota next year!
And before we start let me say this. If you're a causal football fan or simply like the Steelers because their your home team and they give you a reason to party on Sundays; great for you! Enjoy your hangover.
I'm writing this from the perspective of someone who “LOVES” football. My love for her began when I was six and I saw Larry Czonka and the Miami Dolphins on an old Black and White TV in my Grandparents living room. Crashing into people looked fun.
My love for the game comes from being hit so hard once on a football field I stumbled off the field like the scarecrow in the “Wizard of Oz”. Then I proceeded to throw up on the side line.
After watching butterflies speak French to a pink chicken wearing a top hat for ten minutes, as I laid up against the team bench, I got myself up.
I went to our head coach, who looked like a eight foot tall pink Lizard named Larry at that moment in time and space, and put myself back in the game.
Then played the rest of the game. Incidentally, we won!
Another "hit" that rocked my world was bestowed upon me by 6'5 280LBS of Bill "Bull" Fralic during practice at PITT one day.
"Bull" is considered to be the "Greatest Offensive Lineman" to ever play college football.
At impact I knew my bell was rung. The cherry on top was delivered by 5'11 270lbs of Fullback named "Iron-Head" who then buried his helmet in my spleen.
More pink chickens singing, "What a long strange trip it's been" by the Grateful Dead filled my head.
I love football. I love the Steelers. Politics suck. The human condition has evolved very little in the last three thousand years. And basketball is senseless. So I choose football, white wine, the sweet science of boxing, blues music, golf and football!
So you casual fans will have no clue what I'm talking about when I talk about the changes the "Ler's" must make.
So go turn on Ellen DeGeneres or whatever the hell you watch in the off season.
I'm not going to throw out names. Just positions that need attention via free agency.
If I were throwing out names; I'd say go get me Lawrence Taylor, Reggie White and Troy on Defense.
Also please go get me Mike Martz out of the broadcast booth. Pay Bill Parcells whatever he wants to stand high in a tower above the practice field watching and observing.
Parcells, Tomlin and Martz can all talk behind closed doors. Then your offense that is more than capable of scoring 30 or more points per game, WILL!
Notice there was not mention of Todd Haley!
Now that I'm done talking about dancing pink chickens and my fantasy list. Let's talk turkey.
The Steelers heard Ben's message loud and clear. His days are numbered. And my friends “NOTHING” assures you of another super star QB in the near future after Ben retires. NOTHING. Need I mention Bubbles Brister?
A.B. “Ronald” Brown has a big bag of money now and is a Steeler for life.
Lev Bell is locked down for at least one more year.
Ben is healthy.
The O-Line might be the best Coach Tomlin has had in his ten years as the helm.
The Steelers needs are immediate if they want to get to the Super Bowl next year or God forbid the year after.
The Steelers have never been big on Free Agents. They took a huge chance last year on Ladarius Green and got torched for $10 Million big ones!
1/Find that “other” free agent wide-out that can catch the ball over the middle in traffic and down field. His number one job, become so formidable he takes pressure off “Ronald”.
2/Focus on the growth of Jesse James at TE. Look for a Steelers version of a “Gronk”. Not the “overpaid “Tin-Man-Ladaruis Green.
NOTE: His agent is the greatest of all time. He sold a damaged bill of goods for $20. Million Dollars to the Steelers! Cut Ladarius Green today!
3/Find me a Free Agent “Offensive Coordinator”. Todd Haley has gotta go!
NOTE: Watch my commentary above to learn WHY.
Haleys offense is a disgrace! And that's with one of the Top Five QB's in the NFL. One of the Top Three WR's in the NFL. With the most dynamic, well rounded running back in the NFL and the best rung back in Steelers history in Lev Bell. With a Top Five Offensive line too!
Imagine how bad Haleys offense would be if he had marginal, average or bad players!
“D-LINE”: I loved the growth of Hargrave, AKA the Jaguar, last season. But we all saw what happened when Cam Hayward went down. The Steelers need to find that lineman who can rush, bring pressure and be a force to be reckoned with. Thus freeing Safeties and Line-jackers up to roam free and to BLITZ at will.
Lawrence Timmons never lived up to his $47 MILLION DOLLAR contract he signed in 2011. For that kind of money I want "DOMINANCE". Not the occasional solid game.
LT is 30 years old, is due to be paid $15 Million this season. I believe last season was his last gasp at greatness. You will spend $15 Million on an average LB at best. Who may or may not be a force this season. Cut Him! Today!
I'd look to bring in his younger, faster, meaner, replacement NOW via free agency.
Jarvis Jones: BYE, BYE, BYE. By the end of the season he was ridding the pine. Coach Tomlin made it clear via not being clear that Jarvis was constantly out of position and out of focus in 2016. Get me that stand up outside speed demon. Oh, we have him. His name is James “T-REX” Harrison!
I need a strong safety who's molded in the image of Ronny Lott and Troy! And I need him now!
I do know one thing. If the Steelers keep Todd Haley, it will be a miracle if pure talent alone gets them to the Super Bowl.
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